I was reading a blog by a local theologian/writer. In it he talked about being "in exile in the church" - the idea that being part of a fellowship of believers is even more of a challenge than being part of this world.
I thought about this tonight walking home from an outreach event arranged by my church (this was one was aimed at men). I can't bring my friends to these things, it's a non-starter. We don't have conversations or encounters anymore that will come to a nice clean ending at a church service. I used to think I did in my teens when I was a fired-up wannabe evangelist type. Back then I never saw my friends as what they should be..just friends. They were targets, notches on a belt rather than caring individuals whose acts of kindness and selflessness meant more for me than I ever did for them. I still believe that becoming a Christian is an idea that's worth sharing - but it's one that's worth sharing. You learn to share -and I'm learning it's a two way thing between me and the other person.
We have yet to find a niche or a ministry, as they call it, since we moved into the area and decided to attend the local church. Lisa and I are involved in bits and pieces of work in our spare time that don't seem to fit directly into these categories. I'm starting to think that good gifts are just gifts, when did they stop or start being "spiritual"? Every good gift comes from God after all.
I've realised I have a huge list of social, political, even musical grievances against the established evangelical church, but that I need to get over myself. God has shown me more than enough grace to get by and I need to show more of it too. Despite the frustrations the blessings are still abundant inside and outside the four walls of that building. Church is a struggle - it's meant to be that way but thank God there's more to faith than two meetings on a Sunday. I need to realise this before I start hightailing it somewhere else at the first signs of getting pissed off with something.
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I don't like the idea that people are - above anything else - targets to evangelise. I don't know how many times I've been to meetings where the preacher challenges you to talk to one person about Jesus every week, or even every day... it used to get me down a lot, because I would never actually do it. But it's very dehumanising, when you come to think of it. They ask us to be salesmen of Christ (the Lord being the product) ; but the Bible asks us to be witnesses of Christ.
Salesmen don't need to love their potential customers ; but Christian witnesses do. And that's what makes all the difference. How can I talk to someone about Christ if I don't love him/her first? And that's why it's such a challenge for me : I so often fail to do what God asks of me, and love everyone, as Jesus did.
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